Team Mascots

October 25, 2012

Watching the World Series between Detroit and San Francisco two things come to mind.

1.  Don Larsen pitched his perfect World Series game on October 8, 1956.  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_Larsen).  That's when the series should be played, at the start of October, not the end, finishing in November.  Brrr.  The NBA season will open before baseball is done and go well into summer. Baseball is summer, football is fall, basketball and hockey are winter.

2.  Team mascots have long been a hot button for me.  My definition of an acceptable team mascot,from middle school through the professional ranks, has three components:  (1) ferocity (2) intimidation and (3) fear.  In other words, a mascot should bring all three in the mind of opponents.  These are my general criteria for mascots.  Acceptable - animals, usually with fur, preferably striking fear if you encounter them face-to-face, manly icons, and fierce Native Americans.  Unacceptable - birds, fish, inanimate made up names, cuddly/furry animals, and most humans.  A sample list:

OK:  Longhorns, Bears, Tigers, Lions, Eagles, War Eagles, Wolverines, Bruins, Badgers, Giants, Lumberjacks, Cougars, Bearcats, Seminoles, Cowboys, Red Raiders, Raiders, Wildcats, Chiefs, Braves, Buffaloes (Buffs), Indians, Blackhawks, Warriors, Tomahawks, Arrows, Indians, Redskins (my high school), Utes, Steelers, Mustangs, WolfPack, Wolves, Dragons, Panthers, Snakes, Sharks, Razorbacks, Bulldogs, Rams, Hawks, Gators, Grizzlies, Crocodiles, Cobras, Vikings, Coyotes, Colts, Broncos, Bobcats.

Marginal:  Trojans (a guy in a skirt on a horse is marginal, at best), Horned frogs (unless you've touched one), Celtics, Blue Devils, Gamecocks, Rebels, Pandas, Cubs, Yellow Jackets, Hornets and Bees (close call on these three).

Not OK: cardinals, orioles, blue jays, packers,  jayhawks, hoyas, ducks and beavers (please), phillies, heat, shockers, thunder, corn huskers, mariners, commodores, tar heels, camels, lakers, green wave, crimson tide, hurricanes, hokies, mud hens, turkeys, owls, 49'ers, sun devils, knickerbockers, pistons, pacers, gophers, twins, terrapins, orange men (red men ok, men named after a fruit? Not ok.), buckeyes.

And the two most offensive and totally unacceptable:  aggies and sooners.